I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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