apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I came so hard my ears popped.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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