covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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