Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
