He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
