Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She told me I should be a condom model.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
