Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
