I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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