I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize