at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
