Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
