Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
