so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
