I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
