have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
