First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
