so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
