there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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