I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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