I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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