Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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