similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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