I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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