I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
