Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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