yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
