This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
