I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
