The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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