You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
vagina is talking i cant
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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