this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
