she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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