Im at strip club and am horny
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
