Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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