I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
