ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
