I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
