when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
