Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
