have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
