There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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