Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
