I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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