How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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