The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
