im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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