They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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