His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
