Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize