I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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