Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
They took my balls.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
