I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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