How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
you never un-have a 4some
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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