Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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