Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
