I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize