So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Do vagina's smell?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
