i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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