return my video game
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
