I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize