...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
