I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
