Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Success! We fucked roommates!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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