Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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