the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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