Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
