woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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