The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize