she was so not down for the gang bang
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
