I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
