You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
