He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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